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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I gotta warn ya – if you visit, be ready to feel all sorts of raw emotions. The city isn't pretty sunshine every minute, but it's real, messy, and unapologetically vibrant. There are moments where I get fired up, like when I see the mismanagement of a once-splendid building on Wienerstrasse ruined by neglect. "Idiot sandwich!" I yell in my head, because even these flaws are as lively as our art.

Where to live in Zurich